annoyatron: crickets and tumbleweed

To All My Friends — TL;DR

I know I am really bad at keeping in touch. Usually my brain runs at warp speed trying to process everything around me. Like a moth flitting from light source to light source I jump between events without stopping to process my feelings.

My thoughts are having a huge house party and the muted tapping on my front door happens to be the fire marshal waiting to tell me that I am over capacity. You are all there, having the best of times. I just forgot to mention that you are with me—that I think about you frequently—burning the place down, no holes barred.

I may have told you that I would call you and I did not do it for weeks. I may have told you that I would email you soon and your inbox received no love. I may have told you that we are going to get together soon and I never got back to you. I may have told you that I love you, and I still do. I just forget to follow up.

You are in my thoughts.

• I think about your boobs. (What, how can boobs not come first?)
• I remember when you defiled my kitchen with a dark saber war.
• I fondly remember the last time you sent me a picture of yourself.
• I recall the time you showed me your studio and I was awed.
• I thought about how we made snow angels in the dirty NY snow.
• That time you danced in a fountain makes me giggle, still.
• I laugh at that time I borrowed your machete to chop down bamboo.
• I think about the first time you graced my house with your presence.
• I miss walking downstairs and seeing your face asleep in lasagna.
• Your green skate shoes makes me miss having a skateboard.
• Sometimes I wonder how you all smuggle weed all the way here.
• I love seeing you get drunk off of a keg we bought for the house.
• When I heart your post my heart sends you a piece of itself.
• I giggle and cry when I think about how you made me grab boobs.
• That time you showed me your puke still makes me cringe, and smile.
• I am amazed that you did not punch me out for grabbing boobs.
• When I shake your hand and smile that means I like you.
• I would love to fix the fuse box in your Mazda.
• I mean it when I invite you to come to my house at any time.
• When you put a bork in my ask hole I get all moist. #nohomo
• I wish I could sing karaoke as good as you do.
• Videos of you dancing makes me snort loudly.
• Do not send me penix.jpg again, I mean it.
• I vividly remember when we hugged and you told me you loved me.
• If and when you host another party I will definitely be there.
• Your offhand comments and observations makes me chortle.
• I miss the good times at the community pool.
• I will never forget how you take care of me when I need it.
• I love listening to your drunk political rambles.
• You are very important to me and I wish I knew how to express it.
• I remember the last time I made you smile.

I may have forgotten to mention something about you. If I did, do not hesitate to call me out on it. You are all very dear to me.

When I tell you to call me or text me, I mean it, because I will space out and forget to get back in touch. This does not mean that I do not like you or care about you, it simply means that this Swede happens to suffer from acute silliness and that if you are waiting for me to poke you, nudge me.